
Doherty's Raffia Madness![/align]
News has leaked out, like pus oozing from a sore, that well-known crack-head Pete Doherty is to take up a crafts course at his local college. He has his heart set on making a raffia clothes basket for his dear old mum after he accidentally sat on hers in an EVIL drug haze. When we approached his mother at 4am yesterday as she struggled back from the local 24hr offie, she said 'I'm not fucking impressed, that one cost me £8 out of Argos and I don't think he has a clue about it.'
Fans were asked today to send in any spare reeds or bark they might have to Pete's fan club.