3 July
I tHINK the second house is a shot in the arm for the series when it most needed it. Now, as for the housemates...
JONATHAN: I don't think Jon will dilly-dally in wooing Aisleyne. He's her type and this is a potential love match. The house next door will soon be a love shack.
AISLEYNE: I liked her eviction night dress. She was basically nude with a blue cloud near her. And she was ludicrously happy to stay in the show. Spouts ghetto slang, which I enjoy. But now Spiral's in the house, she flags up her Irish-ness.
SPIRAL: He and other new housemates. Nudity seems to something people are keen to see and the new housemates will oblige. Maybe we'll find Spiral got his nickname from an odd-shaped appendage.
JAYNE: Will get really irritating flashing of her a***.
MICHAEL: Got on Blind Date by pretending to be straight?then fixed it so his female picked him for a hol. Maybe on BB, they'll find out he's been seeing Richard for years?and they will tunnel between the houses.
JENNIE: Loud and regional, like Lisa. She's excitable and has a lot of energy. Looks like she had a boob job.
PETE: Not the clear winner he was. Some grins and gurns seem slightly put on.
NIKKI: I love her. The wailing when she found an ulcer on her cheek was hilarious. I'd love to see that woman in childbirth.
MIKEY: He's driving me up the wall. Just take Imogen! Why can't he commit to a red-blooded love affair?
IMOGEN: Still nothing but beauty.
RICHARD: He thinks he's so wise but he's full of clich?s such as "Be yourself!" and "Chin up!"
SUSIE: Said she nearly went "A over T" in the shower. Can't bear to say dirty words. So what does she do during sex? Tame.
GLYN: Spew was great. He could be first BB contestant given an ASBO.
LEA: Latches on to people and drains them. Emotionally incontinent?and falls in love with anyone.
Here's Russell's zany take on the housemates for this week!
LEA: She told Davina I'm fit?so I've been warned! There's a very real risk one of us will end up pregnant.
If only her breasts were flesh, instead of filled with man-made fibres. It would be like fondling a sack of loft insulation. It won't be easy for her son Henry to cope with the fact that she didn't want to come home, but I'm sure Lea (right) will shower him with attention and start the work of rebuilding that young man's psyche.
SPIRAL: Confrontational, so he could bring a lot to the house. I expect the Irishman to stir things up like fellow hip-hop DJ Science did last year. And I wouldn't be surprised if Aisleyne reclaims her Irish heritage?in a very primal way.
JENNIE: Quite attractive and a bit brash, but not sure what she'll be able to contribute. Could be a realistic love conquest for Glyn now that he's deprived of his ludicrously unattainable fantasy Lea.
NIKKI: Been relatively quiet for her?so just the few breakdowns in the Diary Room.
AISLEYNE: Her emotional display over having to evict Jonathan was excruciating. You'd think she was sending him to the electric chair. And how ridiculous saying she could still hear his voice. He's not dead, just evicted.
JAYNE: She has huge potential. She talks about sex, she burps and farts. Jayne (right) is an unreconstructed swamp woman. She sees all the men as potential conquests, so I imagine Glyn will be a wreck by the end of next week. She's going to be fun.
RICHARD: He's such a pious, righteous bloke. But he's good for the House. He polarises housemates and I think that's positive.
But I don't find him particularly entertaining, mostly because of his assumed position of authority and wisdom.
Perhaps the arrival of Michael will spur him into some sort of homosexual vibrancy, but I always feel bad assuming that two gay people are bound to have it off.
SUSIE: She's afraid of the human body and the physical, yet she's a mother.
I'd really like it if she had a relationship with Jayne because they are polar opposites of each other.
MIKEY: He's been faffing around with Imogen. They're the best looking people in there still so I really expect them to start contributing now.
Mikey (right) has been much too reticent and hasn't really given us anything to keep us amused. All he's got to offer is some sort of domestic pornography. Get on with it, lad.
GLYN: He continues to be lovely. I liked it when Pete and Nikki were in bed ? Glyn's innocent intrigue of sex was wonderful. He just wandered over to look at...sex. He is so excited by everything. For most of us being in the House would feel like being in prison because it's so restrictive.
But for Glyn it's a sexual Chessington World of Adventures.
PETE: We don't see much of him now. He seems to have become a self-parody.
Initial confidence that he would walk it has been severely dented.
Now he just seems to be doing an impression of someone with Tourette's.
MICHAEL: He's quite clever and someone people can identify with. Other than Eugene last year, no newcomer has ever done that well.
I don't think he'll win it, but he's an interesting catalyst. It will be fascinating to see how he affects Richard.
He's argued with Jayne so I think he could cause conflicts by being quite bright and on a different plane. He doesn't seem to be someone who just wants to be a TV presenter, although I'm sure he does.
IMOGEN: Apart from walking naked across the scrubby garden, what else could Imogen (left) do to cheer us up?
If she did magic tricks or fire breathing I'd still want her just to walk naked across the garden. I'm transfixed by her prettiness.
Even if she suffocated Glyn in the night I'd still say: "Give her another chance."
She's history now and I don't think the press or anyone else should pay her any mind at all. She's not worth it.
