RADICAL GROUP DEMANDS PAWNS BE RENAMED
By Lila Dubinsky
MUNCIE, Ind. – At the annual meeting of the United States Chess Enthusiasts League, a radical-left wing has proposed sweeping changes to the ages-old board game. “The game itself is perfect, but we find the nomenclature demeaning,” said French-born agitator Gigi Farblunjet. “For instance, we want the name ‘pawn’ to be replaced with ‘self-employed scout’ and ‘bishop’ to be renamed ‘non-denominational cleric.’ We’re also not too crazy about the king being supreme, and recommend that players be allowed to switch the king and queen at will.”
The executive board of the USCEL has vowed to fight the changes. “While we understand their concerns, we believe them to be an overreaction,” said President Farley Abernathy. “There is no way we’ll be changing ‘checkmate’ to ‘check domestic partner.’”
-----------------
those pesky French-born agitators!
