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Rude Hand Gestures of The World

Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 9:38 pm
by faceless
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Meaning: Get lost
Used in: Belgium, France, Northern Italy, Tunisia

In France, this gesture is known as la barbe, or “the beard", the idea being that the gesturer is flashing his masculinity in much the same way that a buck will brandish his horns or a cock his comb. Simply brush the hand under the chin in a forward flicking motion. While not as aggressive as flashing one’s actual genitalia, this gesture is legal and remains effective as a mildly insulting brush-off. Note: In Italy, this gesture simply means “No.”

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Meaning: Are you an idiot?
Used in: Brazil

A South American gesture indicating stupidity, this requires improv skills and an actorly flair. To perform, put your fist to your forehead while making a comical overbite. The gesture is most effective when accented with multiple grunts. When executed correctly, you will be rewarded with appreciative laughs, though not, perhaps, from your subject.

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Meaning: To hell with you!/I rub shit in your face!/I'm going to violate your sister!
Used in: Greece, Africa, Pakistan

The Moutza is among the most complex of hand gestures, as elaborate and ancient as a Japanese tea ceremony. Perhaps the oldest offensive hand signal still in use, the Moutza originated in ancient Byzantium, where it was the custom for criminals to be chained to a donkey and displayed on the street. There, local townsfolk might add to their humiliation by rubbing dirt, feces, and ashes ("moutzos" in medieval Greek) into their faces.

Now that the advent of modern sewage systems and anti- smoking laws means that these materials are no longer readily available, the Moutza is a symbolic stand-in. In Greece, it is often accompanied by commands including par’ta (“take these”) or órse (“there you go”). Over the years, the versatile Moutza has acquired more connotations, including a sexual one, in which the five extended fingers suggest the five sexual acts the gesturer would like to perform with the subject’s willing sister.

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Meaning: You have five fathers, i.e., your mother is a whore
Used in: Arab countries, Caribbean

If you are looking to get yourself deported from Saudi Arabia – possibly amid a riot – you can do no better than the Five Fathers gesture. The most inflammatory hand gesture in the Arab world, this sign accuses the subject’s mother of having so many suitors that paternity is impossible to determine. To execute, point your left index finger at your right hand, while pursing all fingers of the right hand together. The insult is extreme and almost certain to provoke violence.

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Meaning: crazy
Used in: Southern Italy

In southern Italy, craziness is indicated by this gesture, in which one mimics the grinding of a pepper mill. The implication is that the subject’s addled brain is whirring as fast as the mill's blades.

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Meaning: Your wife is unfaithful
Used in: The Baltics, Brazil, Colombia, Italy, Portugal, Spain

Informing a friend that his wife has been unfaithful is an unhappy and delicate task. Fortunately, in many countries, it is simple to do: one simply gives him the Corna. A very old sign, the Corna dates back at least 2,500 years and represents a bull’s horns (bulls were commonly castrated to make them calmer).

Be warned that while the gesture is used throughout the world, its meaning varies greatly from country to country.Should you be on the receiving end of the gesture, before you cast out your wife, remember that your pal may simply be saying she is a fan of American college football or heavy metal bands.

Note: In Saudi Arabia, Syria, and Lebanon, one makes a similar gesture with an identical meaning by fanning out the fingers and placing the hands by the ears to mimic a stag.

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Meaning: I am ignoring you
Used in: Greece

The literal translation of st’arxidia mou, the phrase that accompanies this gesture, is “I write it on my testicles.” And while there may well be people who, out of a strange psychological compulsion or simply boredom, actually write on their testicles, here the threat is simply metaphorical and tells the subject you’re ignoring him. One needn’t possess testicles to use the gesture, which is employed by men and women alike.

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Meaning: Screw you and your whole family
Used in: India, Pakistan

Should you find yourself in India or Pakistan, wishing to insult not just your host but your host’s entire family, look no further than the Cutis gesture. Its origins are unknown, but its effect is swift and severe. Simply make a fist then flick the thumb off the front teeth while exclaiming "cutta!" (“Screw you!”). In short order, you will find himself ejected from the premises, your mission to offend thoroughly accomplished.

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Meaning: You're stingy
Used in: Mexico, South America

Just as the heart is associated with love, so, in many Latin American countries, is the elbow with stinginess. In Mexico the two are so closely linked that a miser is described as "muy codo" (very elbow), the idea being that he rarely straightens it to pay the check. If your compadre makes a habit of failing to pick up the check, you may wish to correct his behaviour with this sharp gesture. For extra emphasis, bang your elbow on the table.

Note: In Austria and Germany the same gesture means “You’re an idiot,” suggesting that the elbow is where the subject keeps his brain.

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Meaning: I find you untrustworthy
Used in: Southern Italy

In business, it is important to let your associates know you can’t be taken advantage of. This gesture informs them you are on to their attempts to deceive. To perform, move your nose side to side with the index and middle finger. The movement suggests that something stinks, and you are trying to rid yourself of the odor.

Bobby Davro knockout

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 7:52 pm
by SquareEyes
I Googled for this after hearing about it on a radio show... Bobby, Lionel Blaire & Jim Bowen in a TV cock-up with painful consequences...

:crazed:

One Post Wonders

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 6:32 pm
by faceless

Euchre

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 12:14 am
by eefanincan
The card game Euchre is kind of like sex--- you hope you have a good partner, but if not, then you hope you have a good hand. :D

How you got your face...

Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2012 1:10 am
by faceless
I wish I had a face... :grrr:

Roadkill experiment...

Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 4:05 am
by faceless

Roadkill experiment

Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 7:41 pm
by faceless
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Mobility scooter owner banned from driving after crashing into shop window
26 Jul 2012
Able-bodied Darren Wells, 37, paid £50 for the vehicle because he couldn't afford to run a car, magistrates at Croydon, south London, heard. But when he took the scooter to a shop near his home, he accidentally put it into reverse rather than forward.

Wells, an alcoholic, had been at a friend's funeral wake the night before and had woken up a little worse for wear. He told the court that he decided rather than walk to the shop, he would take the mobility scooter. Wells, of Wallington, said: "I thought it would be faster to take the scooter. It wasn't." Asked what speed the scooter was capable of, Wells told the court: "Well it ain't ready for the Grand Prix yet."

Wells arrived at the shop, but after mistaking the reverse gear for the forward gear, he ploughed into the shop's window. He told the court: "I offered to pay him there and then, but he said he needed a crime reference number for his insurance. So I got nicked."

The case hinged on whether or not a mobility scooter was classed as mechanically propelled under the Road Traffic Act, and if Wells qualified for one under the Chronically Sick and Disabled Persons Act. Wells had only bought the scooter from a friend for £50 because he "couldn't afford to maintain a car," he court heard

Father-of-three Wells faced jail after breaching a 12-month suspended sentence for assaulting a police officer, but magistrates said it "would not be in his interest to send him to prison." Chairwoman of the bench, Mrs Angela Glancy, told Wells: "We are satisfied the scooter was not being used in accordance with legislation. If you are caught driving, including the mobility scooter, you will go to prison."

Wells has been disqualified from driving for 17 months provided he undertakes a drink driving awareness programme as well as being ordered to pay £200 in compensation to the shop owner on top of a £150 fine, £50 in costs and a £15 victim surcharge. At an earlier hearing Wells pleaded guilty to criminal damage for the window for which he was fined £110.

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If anyone wants to send him a message of support, here's his facebook page... https://www.facebook.com/darren1231

:crazed:

Red Hot Chilli pipers

Posted: Sun Aug 05, 2012 1:39 am
by Aja

Predicting the future

Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 10:37 pm
by faceless
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19th Century French Postcards Predict The Future
They invented skype!

funny reviews on amazon etc

Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 9:56 pm
by faceless
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John Wark puzzle
Martin B. Kelner
Durability: 5.0 out of 5 stars Educational: 3.0 out of 5 stars Fun: 3.0 out of 5 stars
It's so hard these days to find the ideal Christmas gift for your child, the one that will have them looking up at you with that unforgettable child-like mixture of joy, wonder, and almost ineffable gratitude, giving you the kind of memory to sustain you through the chilly years of old age and decline. Too often at times of celebration we parents go for the easy option and buy the child a new iPhone 5, a play station, or some other electronic gewgaw, and after a perfunctory thank-you, the moment has gone.

But imagine the magical moment if your child were to open his or her parcel on Christmas morning and find 300 finely crafted pieces of jigsaw puzzle which, when correctly configured, give you a 43 x 30 cm portrait of none other than Ipswich, Liverpool, and Middlesbrough legend John Wark? "It's John Wark!" the excited cry will go up. "Look aunty, uncle, grannie, it's box-to-box midfield dynamo, a player with a tremendous scoring record for a midfielder, John Wark! John Wark himself, moustache and all."

But this is the gift that keeps on giving. Not only is the Scotland international and Escape To Victory star pictured with the 1981 UEFA Cup, half naked - that's John, not the UEFA Cup - but his torso-bared likeness can be handsomely mounted on a black board, which is included in this unique once-in-a-lifetime presentation pack.

"Bagged on a black board," reads the product description, but that's not the half of it. It comes in a re-sealable bag (I know I do) which means it can not only bring joy and excitement at home as the family joins together round the hearth to recreate the image of Ipswich's finest ever player, but doubles as a travel activity, making those Transatlatic flights, intercontinental rail trips and so on, just fly by.

Just one minor quibble. You will note I have given this product just the four-star rating instead of five, and that is simply because there is as yet no jigsaw puzzle of either Eric Gates or Brian Talbot, and that remains a disappointment to those of us who have completed the image of John Wark, and now crave, with what popsters Duran Duran described as the hunger of the wolf, yet more 1980s-Ipswich-player-puzzle-related fun!

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8)

Maxipad Company Replies to Man’s Facebook Rant

Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 12:01 pm
by Brown Sauce
Really informative guy's ...

:wow:

Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 9:32 pm
by faceless

Electronic Skittles separater

Things that should never have existed

Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 11:16 pm
by faceless
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Jedward waxworks

The earliest known video-tape-recording

Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2012 3:04 am
by faceless


As a recording geek, this has excited me more than anything I've seen for ages. I had no idea the quality and depth was available (and being used) so far back.

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 1:32 am
by faceless

Vicky Pollard - Don't Go Giving Me EVULZ!!