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Clarkson - We're like X-Factor trio
By DAVE MASTERS
thesun.co.uk[/align]
WHEN it comes to telly divas, the only thing high maintenance about the Top Gear fellas are their cars. But joker Jeremy Clarkson does admit his presenting pals do sometimes remind him of the bitchy X Factor judges Louis, Cheryl and Simon.
Jeremy told us: "Hammond with his new hair and puppy dog eyes would be Cheryl Cole. In fact, he IS Cheryl Cole. I've never seen the two of them in the same place - and he doesn't like Chelsea! It's all falling into place. And James would be Louis Walsh for many, many reasons." But Jeremy says doing the job of Mr Nasty would drive him around more bends than the Stig. "I don't know how he manages to have patience with as many people as he does. My cigarette breaks would be even longer than his!"
Jeremy and co-host James May invited The Sun down to Top Gear's Dunsfold test track, in Surrey, for a chat in a disused 747 ahead of the lads' Top Gear Live world tour. It's the third time the hit motoring show has gone on the road, with shows in Australia, South Africa, Denmark and Ireland. But despite getting to see the world, the lads still wish they had their own plane to jet around in.
Joker Jeremy, 50, moaned: "We don't have a plane - we once did have our own plane to go to a vineyard but it was only a nine minute flight. We once had a helicopter and a boat. But I can't recommend touring highly enough - I can understand why so many people want to go on the X Factor."
On tour, the trio - including the absent Richard Hammond - are treated like pop stars by their legions of fans wherever they go. The BBC2 programme is currently aired in 180 countries to an estimated audience of 350million people.
Mild-mannered James, 47, is seen by some as the most reluctant star of the trio but he denies it. With a smile, he admits: "I just keep forgetting I'm famous. It is an odd feeling to go to a completely different bit of the world but they're all watching Top Gear. It seems a bit odd."
It's a good thing James is getting used to being recognised because Jeremy has plans to take the show to an even bigger platform. "I would love to take the show to America," he revealed. "It's huge out there. The BBC says it's 300,000 viewers - but if it is I think I met all of them last week when I was there. You can tell as you walk down the street everybody is looking at you. If we did, Piers Morgan would have to interview me - imagine that!" And would they return the favour by inviting America's newest presenter onto their show for a spin in the reasonably priced car? "Never," grins Jeremy. "We try to get guests who people like."
One huge part of the existing show fans certainly like is The Stig - the white-suited racing driver whose 'secret' identity was recently revealed after he won a much-publicised court case and released a book. Many feared it could spell the end of the mystery man but Jeremy shrugs off any suggestion of it and sounds ready to start the auditions for a replacement.
He said: "The most important thing is somebody has got to come down here and drive each individual car around the same track so we know which one is the fastest. Now you don't need a particularly dynamic soul for that - you just need a great driver. Once you boil it down to those requirements, we're quids in. But it was very hurtful what happened, being really honest. I thought we were all one very happy family on Top Gear and that hurts when somebody goes off. I wasn't expecting it - but it isn't the end of the world."
James agreed, rubbishing any talk of the end, adding: "The Stig is a character not a person. It's like saying: 'The stuffing has come out of my favourite teddy bear. You've still got the same teddy bear you just put new stuffing in."
With or without The Stig, it's clear the Top Gear show will go on, whether it be on the stage or screen. But how about if Hammond decided to throw in the towel and sell his secrets, leaving just these two to soldier on?
"Hammond?" wonders Jeremy, pulling a face as if he's never heard of the bloke. Richard Hammond is the bassist in our particular band - we could just get another one, bassists are ten a penny."
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I think that's the first photochop that I've seen in The Sun which is actually good.
